Be calloused. Act unbothered. Never let ‘em see you sweat. Stop crying.
These are the themes that have been engrained in me since childhood. Growing up how we did, there was a lot of pressure to merely survive. Under these pressures, I can honestly say that I’ve never seen people around me breakdown, or even talk about the pressures and how everything is making them feel.
I remember growing up as an emotional kid. I used to be what people used to call sensitive, and quite honestly I cried a lot. I would have emotions ranging from sadness to frustration and anger, and reactively people would tell me to stop crying. To ultimately “stop feeling” feelings.
Fast forward to today, it’s no surprise that I’m not overly extrinsically emotive. It’s hard for people to read me. In some cases I still feel it’s ok, since there are situations that call for composer, but to the people that need to know I’m not a robot it’s a struggle.
KeVin gates talks about crying daily
I watched this interview and it struck a chord with me. In it Kevin Gates talks about how he cries daily, and sometimes multiple times because you can’t keep emotions bottled up inside.
Check it out.
never a bad time for a good cry
I’m going to take a second and be super proud of my buddy Jeff. He put out this vulnerable song and I really feel this captures so many emotions.
He talks about being ‘scared to ask for help’, which I can relate to. He also tackles the idea that not feeling emotions doesn’t make you a tough guy, and that we need to confront internal lies.
It’s just a damn good song!
I’m learning
I’m developing a muscle that is able to communicate feelings. Most of the process starts with my internal honesty and what I’m dealing with. Then from there I’m able to vocalize that I may be struggling or that I just need time and space to collect myself.
I try not to tell my kids to stop crying, but I try to ask why are you crying because I want to understand which emotion they are feeling. Secondarily, I want them to be able to acknowledge which feeling it is as well so that we can work through it.
Growth is a process. Growth is a journey and not a destination.